It’s not really that big of a deal when somebody says oh i’ll be right back, and it takes them a little longer than .5 seconds, to be right back. it shouldn’t bother me when my boyfriend decides he’s going to leave for a little while and he’ll be right back. I understand he comes and sits at work with me from 4:30 until 9 at night sometimes, but when he leaves he always tells me he’ll “be back” but when i clock out at 9 pm, he’ not around and i have to track him down. It’s not really all that fun for me, when i end up spending some time with him at work, but when i finally get off he’s too fucked up to want to do anything for the 1/2 hour we have before i usually have to take him home. i know it shouldn’t bother me, but there’s just somethings i feel i need to vent about.. and this is one of them.

sometimes i feel like living is just lost hope. life itself is a wonderful gift that i enjoy greatly, waking up every morning with a feeling of curiosity. i don’t know why i was placed here on earth, but i know that’s it’s part of this wonderful adventure we call life. life is too, uncertain. trust gets thrown around like it never meant anything at all. soo.. who do you trust? who are your true friends? who is really going to be there through it all? these are the questions i find myself asking. life is a big jumble of questions that never end. not even really questions, doubts you might say, or simple things that your mind wonders. about your boyfriend, about your friends, about your family, future, past, present, clothes, shoes, cars, money. it’s a never ending cycle of questions and i can never help but to just sit back and let my mind wander to places it shouldn’t go and jump into the enormous pool of doubts that break the surface in my thought process. it’s hard to find the truth again, after you know it, and make yourself doubt every piece of “truth” you’ve had in your life.